


That Song You Hate

by plsenpai



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Bc thats all i can write apparently, Drunkeness, Keith is hurt, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Shiro is a tad manipulative idk, Unhealthy Relationships, bar setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 17:37:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8219446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plsenpai/pseuds/plsenpai
Summary: First Sheith piece! Loosely based off the song Closer by Chainsmokers bc im basic.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I promised my girlfriend I would write her Sheith. Unfortunately I am a terribly slow writer.  
> Shiro was/is a jerk based on your interpretation, I suppose. 
> 
> Psst don't tell her I wrote this instead of studying for my test.

 

“ _Keith?”_

At the sound of his voice, the young, dark-haired male looked over his shoulder from where he was sitting at the bar. At first, it was a nonchalant glance – one that you would give just to let the other person acknowledge you heard them without really wanting to hear what they had to say. But after his first glance, the young man turned himself around on the bar stool, his eyes wide as they stared at the man before him.

“ _Shiro?”_

Keith couldn’t believe that it was really _him_. For a moment, he thought this was some cruel hallucination, and that maybe the guy sitting next to him at the bar had slipped something into his drink. How else could it be possible that Keith was seeing Shiro here, at a borderline college bar in the center of their hometown?

But then, the deep chuckle that came from Shiro reminded Keith that this was reality. The older man rubbed the back of his neck as a crooked smile broke across his face, which made Keith’s heart inevitably skip a beat. “It’s been a long time.”

Keith cursed himself for being taken under the spell of Shiro’s voice so quickly – he hated the way his heart sped up and a warmth arose from his stomach and filled his chest. Even after all this time, Keith was still as vulnerable to Shiro as he was when they first met – though he would never admit to it. “It’s only been four years,” Keith said sarcastically.

Shiro shrugged; he didn’t expect anything less from his spitfire ex-boyfriend. He nodded to the empty stool next to Keith. “Do you mind if I sit here?”

Keith felt like his heart was about to leap out of his chest, but he knew he had to keep his cool so he wouldn’t give himself away. Much to his own surprise, Keith managed to turn his back to Shiro. “You’re old enough to make your own decisions, aren’t you?”

Shiro bit his tongue – after all, he didn’t have the right to start an argument here and now, four years after he left Keith behind. He couldn’t defend his past self, and there weren’t any new excuses he could come up with now. Keith had every right to hold sour feelings against him, since he suffered the most.

Keith tried to keep still while Shiro took the barstool next to him, which seemed to be a lot closer to him than he thought – close enough for Keith to catch the third note of Shiro’s herbaceous cologne. His scent brought on a wave of unwanted memories that made him reach for his beer and take a gulp.

“You look _good_.”

Keith nearly choked on his beer when Shiro said those words. The older man noticed and chuckled. Keith pulled the bottle away from his mouth and cleared his throat. “Um. So do you.”

‘Good’ was an understatement for how Shiro looked. Keith kept stealing glances of Shiro’s muscular arms and how his black shirt fit around them snugly. The younger man wondered about how many hours he spent in those buff arms, with his head resting against Shiro’s solid chest. How many days of his life did he waste letting Shiro cradle him and comb his fingers through his hair?

“You know, I’m glad that it was you,” Shiro spoke up, his voice bringing Keith back to the bar and away from his memories. “It would have been embarrassing if I had mistaken someone else to be you.”

 _It would be painful if you mistook me for someone else,_ Keith thought. “Yeah, for _you_.”

Shiro watched as Keith took another gulp of his beer before he ordered one for himself. There was a moment where neither of them knew what to say – rather, _Shiro_ didn’t know what to say. He knew Keith was going to remain defensive, unless he found a topic that they could mutually contribute to. But finding that topic was difficult. So while he waited on his beer and thought about it, he casually stole glances of Keith.

Shiro was happy to see Keith’s image had kept true to the Keith he had in his memories of four years ago. His midnight hair was still long, and Shiro wondered for half a second if it would still feel soft between his fingers like it used to.

Keith smirked. He had his eyes forward on the selection of drinks behind the bar, pretending not to notice Shiro’s gaze. Keith gained some sort of satisfaction from being noticed by Shiro, but a part of him also felt like this was wrong. Shiro was the one who broke up with him and ran out of town to God knows where – Shiro was the _bad guy_ , and it was wrong for Keith to enjoy his company… Right?

“You’re staring,” Keith said before he took the last gulp of his beer. He expected Shiro to look away and act embarrassed, but that was not the reaction he received.

“I know,” Shiro said. Keith looked at him, but he wished he had not. The look on Shiro’s face was a familiar one. His grey eyes were looking upon him as if he were in a trance. “I just never expected to see you wear something like that.”

For a second, Keith forgot he was still in his work clothes. Though, by the time he reached the bar, he had already popped open the top few buttons of his shirt and loosened his tie. He rolled up his sleeves as well, so he blended in with every other defeated worker who was in the bar.

“I didn’t think you were the office job type,” Shiro said.

“Ha, you know _very well_ I’m not the office job type,” Keith snorted. “But you can’t make a living off of art anymore.”

The bartender came around and placed a bottle of beer in front of Shiro, who grabbed it and took a gulp himself. “I didn’t know you would give up so easily.”

“I didn’t give up,” Keith mumbled.

“Looks like it to me,” Shiro said.

“But what would you know, Shiro? We haven’t talked in four years.”

“Keith from four years ago would look at you today and laugh,” Shiro said. He motioned to Keith’s clothes with his beer bottle. “I mean look at what you’re wearing.”

Keith sighed and looked at his empty beer bottle. “Keith from four years ago would laugh at me for a lot of reasons.”

Shiro sensed the tension in those words and debated on whether it was appropriate to ask what Keith meant or not. There was a time when Keith told Shiro _everything_ without hesitation, claiming that he didn’t trust anyone more than he trusted his lover.

 _Maybe it’s selfish of me to expect him to be honest,_ Shiro thought.

“Another beer please,” Keith said to the bartender before he turned in his seat to finally face Shiro. There was a fake smile tugging on his lips. “So, what brought you back to this bitter town? Weren’t you off to bigger and better things?”

 _Ouch._ Shiro took another gulp of his beer as he thought about his answer. “I don’t really know how I ended up here again.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Keith asked just as the bartender handed him another beer.

“Well, I got in my car and just started driving,” Shiro said. He looked around the bar as he continued. “I don’t really know how I ended up here. I hit a few other towns on my way.”

“Are you a travelling salesman?” Keith tried to hold back his laugh.

Shiro raised his brow. “Me? A salesman?”

Keith chuckled and took a sip of his beer. “You have a way of convincing people. You would make a good salesman.”

“No, I’m not a salesman.”

“Okay. So are you a bank robber, then?”

Shiro smirked. He knew Keith was probably on his third beer because he was suddenly being much more friendly than Shiro deserved. So he decided to play along. “Yup. I rob banks.”

Keith raised his brows. “Wow. How many have you hit up?”

“Since before I got here?” Shiro started counting on his hand. “Three banks.”

“Are you shitting me?”

Shiro shook his head. “You should come with me. I’m on my way to the next bank after this.”

Keith laughed and took another swig of his beer. “Remember that time we actually planned out a heist?"

Shiro recalled the memory and nodded. “Because we were totally broke-”

“And that crazy ass land lady was about to kick us out! We were so desperate, oh my God.”

“I think we could have pulled it off,” Shiro stated. “You’re quick on your feet.”

“And you’re smart, so,” Keith shrugged. “If we went through with it, who knows where we would be now?”

The two of them thought about it for a split second then opened their mouths at the same time. “Jail.”

They both laughed, though Keith was the louder of the two thanks to his alcohol consumption. Shiro took another drink of his beer. “So what have you been up to all this time?”

Keith pointed to himself. “ _Me_? Pff. Well for the last year, I’ve been an office drone. I quit painting, obviously.”

“Do you still live in town?” Shiro asked.

“Yeah. Nothing about me has really changed since you left, haha.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

“But it is,” Keith said defensively. “People don’t change, Shiro.”

“Of course they do.” Shiro knew he was traveling into unsafe waters, but how bad could the conversation get?

“No, they don’t.” Keith’s lips turned into a pout and he picked up his beer to get another sip.

“Sure they do. For instance, four years ago I was an Engineer major. And now, I’m a bank robber.”

Keith kept quiet and Shiro wondered if he should change the subject. With Keith’s temperament, it was sometimes difficult to tell how he would react in certain situations. This was definitely one of those moments, and the fact that they had been apart for 4 years made it even more difficult for Shiro to tell what Keith was thinking.

Before either of them said anything, a younger man came up behind Keith. Shiro noticed right away when the stranger placed his hand around Keith’s waist. He was ready to sock him one, but Keith’s casual reaction kept him from doing so.

The stranger nuzzled his face into the crook of Keith’s neck, and Shiro awkwardly watched as the guy whispered into his ear. Keith rolled his eyes and tried plucking the guy’s hand off his body. “Not tonight,” he mumbled to the stranger.

Shiro turned his gaze away, unsure of how to face such an awkward situation. Without thinking much, he grabbed his beer and chugged the rest of the bottle before asking for another.

“I said not tonight,” Keith said more angrily. “Just get away from me.”

Shiro couldn’t help but steel a glance at the two. The stranger had both of his arms around Keith’s torso now, with his lips next to his ear as he continued to whisper things into it. Keith wiggled his shoulders to try and shrug the guy off, but he wouldn’t budge. “I said no!”

“You should back off,” Shiro said. He was on his feet now, staring at the stranger who still had his arms around Keith. He pulled his head back so he could look at Shiro.

“And who the fuck are you?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Shiro said.

Keith looked at Shiro, only a little surprised. “Shiro, I’ll handle it, it’s fine.”

“Look, guy,” the stranger said. “If you want to fuck him then you have to get in line like everyone else. It’s _my_ turn.”

“ **What did you just say**?”

Keith was still trying to pick the guy’s hands off his body, but with less effort now, like he was giving up. “Shiro, I said-”

The crunching sound of impact between Shiro’s knuckles and the man’s jaw was abrupt and made Keith flinch. The crowd around them gasped and began to holler, cheering Shiro on. Keith gasped, too, and looked over his shoulder at Shiro, who had a fire in his eyes.

“Why did you do that?” Keith asked in a voice too soft to be heard. He looked down at the guy on the ground who was holding onto his jaw. Shiro grabbed onto Keith’s elbow and pulled him off his barstool. Everyone around them parted to make a path for Shiro as he stormed his way to the exit.

Keith stumbled on his own two feet, knocking into Shiro’s back once they were free from the bar. He pulled himself away from the man’s back and tried tugging his arm free from his grasp. “What the hell was that for?”

Shiro refused to face Keith, let alone answer him. Hell, Shiro didn’t even know what had gotten into himself. He just thought he was doing the right thing.

Keith quickly became annoyed by Shiro’s silence. When he tried to pull his arm loose, Shiro only held on tighter. “Shiro, let me go! That hurts!”

Shiro let go of Keith’s arm and turned himself around to face the younger man. “What was that guy talking about?”

Keith rubbed his elbow and avoided looking up at the man. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So is that how you are now?” Shiro asked. “You just let jerks take turns on you now?”

Keith furrowed his brows and kicked the gravel under his feet. “That’s **none** of your business.”

 _It is my business_ , Shiro instinctively wanted to say those words, but that would make the situation even worse. _We’re not dating,_ he reminded himself. _He’s not mine…_

“I’m going back inside,” Keith huffed and turned around to walk to the bar.

“Are you going to sleep with him?” Shiro knew he shouldn’t have asked, but he was still fired up about this that he couldn’t hold back. Keith continued walking without giving him a response. “Keith!”

The younger man let out a frustrated cry and turned around, rushing back up to Shiro with his hands balled in fists. “What do you want from me!? Why do you care who I sleep with??”

Shiro opened his mouth, but closed it again.

Keith put his hand up next to his ear. “What was that? I didn’t hear what you said?”

“Why are you sleeping around so carelessly? Don’t you have anyone that you’re serious about?” Shiro cursed at himself. _I am digging my own grave._

Keith laughed. “Who the _hell_ do you think you are? Have you gone insane?”

“Is it so wrong for me to care about you?” Shiro asked defensively.

“Let me put this in perspective for you,” Keith said. “Four years ago, you broke up with me and left town without a word. I didn’t hear from you at all – no calls or texts. And then, suddenly, you show up here tonight. And you try to tell me that I can’t sleep with who I want to because you still care about me?”

Shiro had nothing to say. He knew it was only a matter of time before Keith became overwhelmed and threw this back in his face. He had every right to, after all. Shiro knew he was in the wrong.

“So forgive me if I’m not on the same page as you,” Keith continued. “I’m not going to let you come back out of nowhere and try to make me feel bad about myself. I don’t need you for that.”

Shiro ran his hand through his hair and sighed. “You’re right. I know I’m a shit person. I made terrible decisions and I ended up hurting you. I thought since it had been this long that-”

“That what? I would have just forgotten about you?” Keith’s voice shook but he tried his best to keep it steady. “You thought I would forget about how you crushed my heart?”

Shiro rubbed the back of his neck and looked to the ground, defeated. There was a moment where Keith was quiet, and Shiro was afraid that he would see the young man crying if he looked up.

“I waited for you, Shiro. I thought you just needed time away from me, and that in a few days you would come back,” Keith lowered his voice. “But then a few days turned into a week. And then a month. And then a year.”

“My friends think I’m pathetic, you know,” Keith muttered. “That even though it’s been four years, I still love you the same way.”

Shiro felt his chest tighten. He looked up from the ground to see Keith wiping a tear away from his cheek. “Keith…”

The younger man chuckled to himself and wiped his eyes. “I’m _really_ drunk. Please don’t take anything I’m saying seriously-! Wh-what are you doing?” Keith gasped when Shiro wrapped his arms around his body and squeezed. He put his hands against the older man’s chest and tried to push him away gently in protest. “Shiro, stop…”

“Never forgive me for hurting you,” Shiro said in a low voice. Keith felt chills break out over his skin whenever he felt the man’s breath against his ear. “I’m so sorry, but I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

Keith’s vision became blurred by the tears welling up in his eyes. “Shiro, let me go… If you keep this up…”

“I just want to hold you for a moment,” Shiro said. “Please?”

Keith shook his head. “You don’t understand. If you keep holding me, I’m going to make even more stupid decisions.” Despite what he was saying, Keith didn’t want Shiro to let go. He missed the secure feeling he experienced whenever he was held between the man’s strong arms; it was the most comfortable place in the world, which was why he felt disheartened whenever Shiro let him go.

“Keith, I’m sorry for showing up out of nowhere like this,” Shiro said. “To tell you the truth… I came to this town on purpose. I was hoping that I could see you again, but I didn’t think I would actually run into you.”

“Am I just supposed to believe you?” Keith asked. “Why would you come here to see me _now_? Is it because you were lonely?”

“No-”

“Because I’m not your backup lane, Shiro.”

“Would you just stop talking for two seconds?”

Keith frowned and crossed his arms.

“I came to see you because I missed you,” Shiro said. “Ever since I left, things in my life have gotten worse. I lost direction, and I made so many mistakes, Keith. I struggle everyday living with myself, and I keep wondering why I can’t be happy. The only time I remember actually being happy was when I was with you.”

“You’re just making this up,” Keith mumbled.

“I’m not just making this up! I haven’t even been able to be in a relationship since I left you. It makes me sick when I think of what I did to you, and I’m afraid I will do it to someone else.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because, I still love you, Keith.”

Keith shook his head. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s true, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t love me. At least not anymore,” Keith said, shrugging his shoulders. “And that’s okay, I understand.”

“You don’t have to believe me,” Shiro said. “I just needed to tell you.”

Keith smirked. “If there’s something you want to tell me…then tell me this. Before you broke up with me, did I do something to make you hate me? Because it happened so fast… You broke up with me, and then the next day you were gone.”

“Keith, I…”

“I never got closure from you,” Keith said softly. “So please, just tell me what it is that I did that made you hate me.”

The younger man gasped when Shiro took hold of his shoulders. “You didn’t do anything wrong. And I never hated you.”

“Then…why?” The shocked look on Keith’s face made Shiro’s chest ache. Tears began to build up over his purple eyes and slip down his cheeks. “Why did you leave me? Why…?”

“Because I wasn’t good for you, Keith,” Shiro said. “Neither of us were healthy. I needed to leave before I could do any more damage.”

“I could have helped you become healthy,” Keith cried. “If you would have just told me, we could have figured it out together! We worked through all of our problems together… There wasn’t anything that we couldn’t work through.”

Shiro gave him a shake. “You’re still too nice for your own good. I noticed how tired you were of always working on _my_ problems. I never paid enough attention to you, but you didn’t seem to mind. That was unhealthy, and it was all my fault.”

“I was fine-”

“No you weren’t, Keith! You stopped living your life and tried living for _me_ instead. I put you in that position and it ruined your health!”

The tears running down Keith’s flushed cheeks were almost too painful for Shiro to watch. But he couldn’t turn away and run now. “You knew we weren’t healthy, Keith. But you stayed with me anyways. If I didn’t leave, we would have been so miserable.”

“I’ve been miserable for these last four years!” Keith shrugged his body loose from Shiro and took a step away from him. “You don’t know what would have happened if you stayed. You could have told me all of this while it was happening instead of running away.”

“I know I shouldn’t have run away,” Shiro’s voice broke. “I know I shouldn’t have left you all alone like that…”

Keith balled his fists and dropped his head to face the ground. “What made you think that I could go through this alone?”

Shiro shook his head. “I don’t know… You were always stronger than I was.”

“That was because I was with _you_ ,” Keith whispered. “I’m weak without you, Shiro. Just look at me. I gave up on my dream of being an artist. I gave up on going to the art institute. I gave up on everything.”

“It’s all my fault-”

“It’s not!” Keith exclaimed. “It’s not your fault that I gave up… I was a better person when I was with you. And when you left, I turned back to being who I was before I knew you. And I hate myself for it.”

Shiro sighed. “You’re doing it again…”

Keith raised his head to look at the man. “Doing what?”

“Blaming yourself,” Shiro said. “That’s what you always did when we were together. You would blame yourself for things that were clearly my fault. And I would just let you do it.”

Shiro took a step forward, which surprised Keith into taking another step back. And another, until Shiro had made him back into the exterior wall of the bar. Keith gulped once Shiro placed his hands against him on either side of the wall, caging him in.

“But I’m not going to let you do that anymore, Keith. I want you to blame me,” Shiro pleaded. “Tell me it’s all my fault. Tell me the way I treated you was wrong.”

Keith shook his head. “It wasn’t all your fault. We were _both_ in that relationship-”

“Keith!” His voice made the younger man flinch. Shiro softened his voice. “ _Blame me._ Stop blaming yourself.”

Keith bit his lip. For the first time that night, he looked directly into Shiro’s eyes for more than 3 seconds. He felt his own chest tighten as the ball in his throat started to ache even more. The older man’s eyes traced over Keith’s face carefully. He placed his hand against his cheek, to which Keith flinched again.

“Say it, Keith.” Shiro repeated. He felt his own chest grow sore as he watched the tears fill Keith’s eyes.

“…It’s all your fault,” Keith said with his lips curled into a childish pout. Shiro couldn’t help but smile a little. He brushed his thumb against Keith’s burning cheek and leaned in closer. Keith closed his eyes instinctively and prepared himself for whatever mistake he was about to make. Shiro noticed, and even hesitated. He looked at Keith’s trembling lips and knew that now was the time to pull away.

Despite what he _knew_ was the right thing to do, Shiro closed the gap between their lips almost too eagerly. Keith let out a gentle whine against Shiro’s mouth, since he was unprepared for the force of the older man’s kiss. But he was quick to bounce back.

Keith raised his hands to hold onto Shiro’s face as he was kissed again, more forcefully this time. The pacing of Shiro’s kisses were quick to escalate as he drew his body closer to Keith’s so they were chest to chest. It was a full thirty seconds before they pulled away from each other enough to take a full breath.

“Should we be doing this?” Shiro huffed.

Keith brushed his lips against the corner of Shiro’s mouth. “Let’s not think about it,” he hummed.

The older man sighed and wrapped his arms around Keith’s waist, pulling his hips closer. He buried his face in the crook of his neck and inhaled the dryer-sheet smell of Keith’s collar. “I…want you, Keith.”

The younger man blushed. Right away, he felt his skin began to heat up. Chills broke out from the spot on his neck where Shiro had his mouth throughout the rest of his body. Keith was speechless, even when Shiro pulled his face away from his neck to kiss him again.

“Can we go to your place?” Shiro mumbled against his lips.

“It’s too far,” Keith managed to say. He pulled his lips away and looked at their surroundings. He grabbed Shiro’s hand and began to walk. “Just follow me.”

Keith led them to his vehicle on the other side of the parking lot. With his free hand, he slipped out his keys from his pocket and clicked the button to unlock the doors.

“Keith, we can’t drive,” Shiro warned.

Keith let go of Shiro’s hand and reached to open the backseat. He looked over his shoulder at Shiro, who looked surprised. “I know. We’re not going anywhere.”

Shiro watched as Keith climbed, clumsily, across the back seat and then turned around to motion for him to follow. “What are we? Teenagers?” Shiro chuckled.

“It’s been four years,” Keith said. “If I have the opportunity to let you have me in the backseat of my car, then I’m going to let you have me in the backseat of my car.”

Shiro moved into the back seat and shut the door behind him. “Your words are starting to slur,” he said. Keith threw his arms around the man’s neck and quickly maneuvered himself so he was straddling his lap.

“Doesn’t this bring back memories?” Keith chuckled as he settled his hips on Shiro’s thighs.

The older man smirked and placed his hands over Keith’s waist to hold him in place. It was almost weird how casual all of this was becoming – with Keith naturally taking his place in Shiro’s lap just like he would those years ago. “You mean that week we lived out of my car?”

“That was fun,” the younger said as he leaned down to brush his lips against Shiro’s neck. “You couldn’t keep your hands off me.”

“I couldn’t help myself,” Shiro sighed. He tugged the hem of Keith’s shirt out from where it was tucked into his pants. “You were just so sexy then.”

Keith pulled himself back and sat up straight with his eyes on Shiro. He used his fingers to further loosen the tie around his collar until it fell undone. Shiro gulped when he noticed how glossy Keith’s eyes were and the red blush that painted his cheeks. “Am I still sexy now?”

Shiro slipped his hand between Keith’s neck and the collar of his shirt and pulled the man down close enough so he could devour his lips. “You’re a fucking tease, that’s what you are.”

Keith smiled against Shiro’s sloppy kisses and continued to button down his own shirt until he was able to pull it off completely. He discarded the shirt by throwing it behind him, where it landed on the front dashboard.

Shiro ran his hands all over Keith’s bare skin, starting from his hips before gliding them over the younger man’s stomach and chest.

Keith hissed. “Your hands are cold,” he said with a laugh. He looked down at Shiro’s hands against his chest and chewed on the corner of his lip.

Shiro smirked. “You still have the same reactions,” he said.

“I don’t know what you-!” Keith covered his mouth with his hand when Shiro pinched at the pert skin of his nipples. “That’s embarrassing, you know…”

“You don’t look embarrassed,” Shiro responded as he rolled the skin between his fingers. “You look like you’re feeling good.”

Keith lowered his head in attempt to hide his reactions from the man, but that was impossible while they were in this position. “And you called _me_ the tease…”

Shiro lifted Keith’s face and looked into his drunken eyes. “Just let me have at least five minutes of foreplay, alright? It’s been four years.”

The younger man hesitated to answer, but before he could, Shiro leaned forward and buried his face in his chest. Keith gasped when he felt Shiro’s tongue brush against his left nipple, followed by his teeth.

“Shiro-!” Keith tried to pull away, but the older man had his large arms wrapped around his body, keeping him still in place. He ran his hands into Shiro’s hair and held on as the man continued to play with his chest. “If you think the same old things are going to work on me,” Keith panted, “then you’re wrong.”

“Your body doesn’t lie,” Shiro said against Keith’s hot skin. He slipped his hand down to grope at the younger man’s crotch, to which Keith responded with a gasp and slapped his hand away. Shiro froze for a second and then pulled away from Keith, unwrapping his arms from around him and dropping them awkwardly to his sides.

“I’m sorry,” Shiro muttered as he ran a hand through his hair. The situation was too awkward for him to make eye contact with any part of Keith’s body, so he settled for covering his face with his hand. “This is stupid. We shouldn’t be doing this. I’m sorry.”

The younger man kept quiet.

Shiro sighed. “Maybe you should…”

Keith nodded and slipped off of the man’s lap. He sat next to Shiro, who scooted away from him to the other end of the seat to give them space. Keith pulled his legs up on the chair and held them close to his chest.

“I should go-!” Shiro was surprised when Keith reached out to grab his wrist.

“Don’t leave,” he said. He sighed and hid his face between his knees. “I’m sorry. I even told you I wanted you. You’re probably annoyed with me right now.”

“You’re not annoying,” Shiro reassured. He let out a soft sigh and leaned his head against the back of the seat. “I just put both of us in a really unfair situation. It’s not your fault.”

Keith let go of Shiro’s wrist. “To answer your question from earlier… Yes, that _is_ how I am now.”

The older man raised his brow. “What do you mean?”

“I just sleep around with jerks all of the time,” Keith said. “I’m not proud of it, but at least I can dump them the next morning.”

Shiro frowned. He did not like imagining Keith sleeping around with a bunch of strange men – especially since once upon a time he had pride in himself for being the _only one_ to see Keith’s intimate side. But now that meant nothing. Who knows how many men have seen the faces Keith makes whenever he’s down on his back? Who knows how many weirdos have had the chance to hear Keith’s raspy huffs and resounding moans?

“But I can’t treat you like them,” Keith said with a soft chuckle. “I can’t use you and then throw you away. You don’t deserve that.”

“Actually, I do,” Shiro said.

Keith shook his head. “You don’t. If I slept with you tonight, I wouldn’t be able to walk away from you in the morning.”

“Nobody said you had to.”

Keith raised his head from his knees and looked at Shiro with a pained expression. “I-It’s not like we can get back together now, though. After all this time…”

“Why not?” Shiro asked, picking his head up to look at the younger man. The question seemed to perplex Keith.

“Because-! Don’t you have someone that you like? Surely you’ve met someone-”

“It’s been awhile since I’ve dated anyone,” Shiro said. “So, no, there isn’t someone else that I like. Other than you.”

“Well, you’ve been sleeping with people too, right?”

Shiro shrugged. “But it’s not really relevant. I’m not in a relationship.”

“But-”

“You’re trying to make excuses for yourself, Keith.” Shiro placed his hand next to Keith’s thigh and leaned across the backseat. The younger man flinched, but didn’t’ pull away. Instead, he looked at his knees in front of him. “If you don’t want to try this again, I can’t blame you. But…” Keith shivered when he felt Shiro lean in closer, so his lips were right by his ear. “If you do, I will never leave you. I promise.”

Keith turned to face Shiro and leaned his forehead against his. He closed his eyes and let out a gentle breath. “Will you still be here when I wake up in the morning?”

Shiro held Keith’s face in his hand and kissed the corner of his lips. “Yes.”

Keith adjusted himself in the seat so his back was against the car door. Shiro eased his way between Keith’s legs and slipped his arm around his hips to pull him closer. “I’m not going to stop you this time,” Keith said.

Shiro buried his face in the man’s neck. “ _Good_.” He didn’t waste any time to reach for Keith’s pants and undo his belt buckle. As he pulled the garment loose, Keith grabbed hold of Shiro’s face and planted a firm kiss on his lips.

“I hope you know we’re going to spend the whole night in this car,” Keith said.

Shiro laughed and grabbed a hold of Keith’s pants and pulled them down his thighs. “We’re too drunk to go anywhere anyways. Now lift your legs.”

Keith scooted his body further down in the seat so he could raise his legs, allowing for Shiro to slide off his pants entirely. Once he threw the pants over his shoulder, Shiro ran one of his hands up along Keith’s thighs and opened his legs so he could sit between them.

The older man leaned down and peppered kisses along Keith’s collarbone and his shoulders. He couldn’t put into words how desperately he had wanted Keith this entire time. The heat building up within his body was beginning to consume him entirely and his heart felt like it would burst. Part of him was warning himself to take this slow, but was that really what Keith wanted?

“Hey, take your clothes off too,” Keith said. He looked down at himself, half-embarrassed when he remembered he was wearing bright red briefs. “I’m almost completely naked and you’re still fully clothed.”

Shiro hummed as he brushed his lips over Keith’s nipple. He slipped his hand higher between the younger man’s legs until he reached his crotch. This time, Keith didn’t protest to the gentle kneading of Shiro’s hand against his erection.

“Ha-! Shiro, I said take off your clothes,” Keith huffed, annoyed. He even lightly pushed on Shiro’s shoulders to try and break his focus. Instead of stopping, Shiro scooted himself back and pulled down Keith’s briefs.

“Five minutes, okay?”

Keith felt his face burn when Shiro leaned down to kiss the skin of his inner thighs. “Wh-what do you mean five minutes??”

Some unknown light caught Shiro’s eyes, making them flicker whenever he looked up at Keith. “Just _relax_ , Keith.”

He knew those words all too well to not know what was coming. But part of Keith’s mind was still in denial about this whole thing. What if this was a hallucination? What if he had invited some stranger that only _looked_ like Shiro into his car. Was that even possible for him?

“ _Ahh!_ ” Embarrassed by his outburst, Keith quickly quieted himself by biting onto his shoulder.

 _Nope, this is definitely real_.

There was no mistaking the skill of Shiro’s mouth. Even to this day, Keith had not been able to forget the way the man was able to use his lips and his tongue to give the best pleasurable experiences.

Keith was relieved, but also a bit frightened, to accept that this man really was Shiro – and that he really was in his car, using his mouth on him in ways that he missed so terribly in the four years that they were apart.

Shiro took a moment to pull his mouth away, but didn’t skip out on the opportunity to keep Keith satisfied with his hand. “You’re tensing up.”

Keith opened his eyes and released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He looked down at Shiro. “What do you mean?”

Shiro ran his free hand along the outside of Keith’s thigh. “Your legs were shaking and you stopped breathing,” he said. He turned his face into Keith’s leg and trailed tender kisses along the soft skin. “Just relax, okay? Stop over thinking.”

Shiro’s familiar comforting tone made Keith’s stomach do a flip. “Just breathe.”

Keith inhaled slowly and gathered up all of his strangled emotions. When he exhaled, just as slow, he released with his breath each of his worries and fears he accumulated that night. Shiro was right, after all. Keith just needed to relax.

As he exhaled, Keith sunk further into the backseat. “I’m breathing,” he sighed.

“Good,” Shiro replied and he lowered his head between Keith’s thighs. “Just keep breathing…”

 

It wasn’t the cold that woke Keith up the next morning. In fact, it was the exact opposite. The warmth from laying on Shiro’s chest and being held in his arms was a sensation Keith thought he had forgotten.

Keith smiled and slowly opened his eyes, only to be greeted by the harsh sunlight and a pounding in his temple. He blinked a couple of times before his searching for Shiro’s face, which was right above his head.

Unsurprisingly, Shiro was still asleep. Keith chuckled and brushed his fingers tenderly over the man’s cheek. “You’re always the last to wake up.”

As if on cue, Shiro’s brow twitched and he squeezed his eyes tight. Keith watched him yawn and gave him a small kiss whenever he closed his mouth. He felt giddy anticipation waiting for Shiro to open his eyes and see him – half-hoping he would be greeted with that crooked smile he loved so much.

Keith moved from laying on his side to laying chest to chest with the man. Even though his movements were small, he winced when he felt the aching of his lower half. “Shiro,” he whispered to the man. “Are you awake?”

Shiro gave his best fake snore performance for the next ten seconds, but Keith didn’t but it. “I know better than to fall for that again.”

“Fall for what again?” The man asked with his eyes still closed.

“Aha! I knew you were awake,” Keith said. “Open your eyes.”

Shiro shifted. “I’m not awake.”

“Hurry and wake up. I’m hungry,” Keith said just as his stomach let out a horrendous growl. Shiro started to chuckle, his voice rough from sleep.

“Are you implying that I should buy you breakfast?”

Keith rested his chin on Shiro’s  shoulder and pouted. “That’s exactly what you should do…”

Shiro smiled and secured his hold around Keith’s body. He opened his eyes slowly, having to blink a few times to adjust to the light. He looked to down at Keith, who was still naked save a thin, cotton blanket that had covered his backside. His long hair was in tangles and pushed up every which way, making Shiro laugh again.

Keith blushed. “What are _you_ laughing at?”

“Your hair.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “ _My_ hair? You should see _your_ hair.”

As if it were possible, Shiro looked up to try and catch a glimpse of his hair. “I’m sure it’s not as wild as yours.”

Keith frowned as he combed his fingers through his own hair. “Mine is too long.”

“I like it,” Shiro said. “It suits you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re wild.”

Keith blinked and quickly hid his face in Shiro’s chest as he felt his cheeks begin to burn. “No I’m not.”

Shiro laughed, and Keith heard the sound come from deep within his chest. “Says the one who has drunken sex with his ex in the backseat of his car.”

“You were drunk too,” Keith muttered in defeat.

“Not as drunk as you, though.”

“I wasn’t _that_ drunk. I can still remember what happened last night…”

Shiro used his hand to caress Keith's back in long, gentle strokes. “That's a good thing. We both said things that shouldn't be forgotten.”

Keith chewed on his lip and nodded. There was a long pause where neither of them said anything. They were both taking a moment to assess the situation they were in, now that they were sober.

“Do you regret what happened?”

The question made Keith raise his head from Shiro’s chest. “No!” he quickly apologized for exclaiming so suddenly. “Do you regret it?”

Shiro stared at the car ceiling and shook his head. “No.”

“Oh… Good.”

The awkward moments between them were beginning to make Keith feel somewhat uncomfortable. Now that he didn’t have alcohol running fresh through his veins, he didn’t know what to say to the man underneath him.

“So how does your body feel?” Shiro asked casually. Keith’s face flushed at the mention.

“Um… More sore than usual,” Keith said. He hummed when Shiro massaged the lower part of his back with his hands.

“Right here?”

“Mhhm. Car sex isn’t for comfort, is it?” Keith chuckled. “What about you? Doesn’t your back hurt from laying down like this?”

“Now that you mention it,” Shiro grumbled as he shifted. “I think I’m laying on something hard…”

“It’s probably a sneaker,” Keith said.

“What? Why?”

“I took them off in here the other day and threw them in the back seat,” he explained. “Didn’t you notice at all last night?”

Shiro shrugged. “Honestly, all I was paying attention to was you. You put on quite a show-”

Keith clamped his hand over the man's mouth. “Shh! Don't tell me embarrassing things like that.”

“Okay, I'll stop,” he said through Keith's hand.

“Good.” Keith pulled his hand away and lay with his cheek against Shiro’s shoulder.

“I don't know if this counts as embarrassing,” the older man spoke up. “But I'm glad I ran into you last night.”

Keith froze. “…You are?”

Shiro nodded. “Like I said, I came back here in hopes of seeing you again. But then I realized how unlikely that was. So I just walked into that bar instead of trying to find you.” He paused for a moment as he continued to draw his fingers up and down Keith's spine. “Do you think that means something?”

“What do you mean?” Keith mumbled, still unsure of what to say.

“I don't know. Some people would call what happened between us fate.”

The younger man shifted under the thin blanket, taking care not to move too much so he wouldn't fall off the man. “Maybe it was fate, but I don't really know.”

Shiro chuckled and ran a hand through his own hair. “Sorry, I know that's a heavy topic for pillow talk. Especially since you’re hungover.”

Keith laughed with Shiro. “Maybe just a little. But I mean…” Keith sat up once again to he could look directly at Shiro’s face. “I wouldn't mind having that discussion over breakfast…”

Following his words was the sound of his angry stomach, loud enough for Shiro to hear.

“Is food all you think about?”

Keith nodded. “Pretty much.”

Shiro sighed and rolled his eyes. “I _guess_ I’ll buy you breakfast, then.”

Keith excitedly sat up straight for the first time that morning, and even though he felt dizzy and nauseated, he looked around for his clothes.

“You threw them in the front seat,” Shiro reminded him. He watched Keith as he reached over the middle console for his clothes. “Oh, but your shirt-”

Keith looked at his wrinkled work shirt in horror, holding it up to Shiro. “What the hell happened-?”

Shiro laughed nervously. “You said you didn't want to get come stains on your seat. I offered you a tissue but by that point you already wiped yourself with your shirt..”

Keith's face was lit aflame. He looked at his shirt before dropping it onto the car floor.

“You can wear my shirt,” Shiro offered  as he reached around the floor. He pulled up him dark shirt from the previous night and tossed it in Keith's direction. The younger man looked at it nervously.

“Well then, what are you going to wear…?”

Shiro shrugged his shoulders. “We might have to stop at a store and get a shirt, haha.”

Keith slipped on Shiro’s too big shirt and found his pants from last night and slipped them on. “We can just go to my place. That way we can shower too.”

Shiro yawned and sat himself up from the seat. He groaned and rubbed his aching back. “Keith, none of your clothes would fit me.”

“I… have some of your old shirts still lying around,” Keith said bashfully. When he looked to his side, he noticed a blush creeping on Shiro’s cheeks. “What?”

Shiro raised his hands, noticing the sudden defensiveness in Keith's voice. “Nothing! I say we go to your place, too. I could use a shower.”

Keith pulled the blanket off of his shoulders and placed it on Shiro’s naked lap. “You should sit back here while I drive us.”

The older man smirked and tugged on Keith's ( _his_ ) shirt. “You look cute.”

“Don't call me cute,” Keith mumbled. “I'm a man.”

Shiro reached out his hand and slipped it behind Keith's neck and pulled him closer, enough so that he could lean over and kiss his lips. The kiss was strong and sincere and stole both of their breaths away.

Shiro pulled back first, leaving Keith sitting there in a daze. “Don't look at me like that or I’ll end up jumping you again,” he laughed.

Keith blinked himself out of his trance and pulled away. “I wouldn't mind it…”

Shiro blanched.

“But I really want to shower,” Keith continued. He climbed over the middle console and into the driver’s seat. “If you're lucky, I'll let you shower with me.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> My girlfriend hates this song and now so do I LMAO


End file.
